Sunday 17 December 2017

The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F**k

I generally refrain from swearing on the blog in print, but today we're not giving a fuck about that. You'll see why. 

I would never have picked up this book left to my own volition. I had passed it off as a parody of Marie Kondo's megaseller The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up (see my review) without looking at it, and I felt that I didn't really need that in my life. But of course I have read Marie Kondo's book, and have been using some of her method to kick off my own decluttering, which has taken on a life of it's own really.

As part of my decluttering I've been watching quite a few Youtube channels about this (and it's a whole new world out there people). One of the channels that I've been watching is How To Get Your Shit Together, and one of the videos I've watched was her review of this book. I'm not quite sure why I clicked on that video, but I did. And then I saw Laura say, in her lovely Irish accent:
This book, this book, is basically everything I stand for. It is like the missing life manual that everyone should get at birth. 
Very soon after I was watching Sarah Knight's TEDx Talk, and then rather predictably soon after I was buying the book.

I picked it up late one night when I was between books. I'd just finished Moonrise that day (see my review), and had a bit of a book hangover. I thought I'd just read the Introduction. Well that didn't work. I was sucked in from the start.

In 2015 Sarah Knight quit her job in publishing, and she herself Kondo'd her apartment and realised that "life is significantly better when you can see all of your socks". She stopped doing things that annoyed her and developed her two stage Not Sorry Method.
1. Decide what you don't give a fuck about
2. Don't give a fuck about those things. 
Simple? Yes. It actually is, and you probably don't really need a 200 page book to expand on that, and it can get a bit repetitive. But I like Sarah's way with words and so I'm willing to forgive her 40-60 pages. 

Sarah points out that "Most people give away their fucks without much thought. Feelings of guilt, obligation, or anxiety cause them to behave in a manner that, while least objectionable to other people, is often detrimental to their own levels of annoy vs joy."
Mental decluttering is even better than physical decluttering because it doesn't stop at the bounds of a ceiling or wall. 
Giving a fuck about anything uses up our Time, Energy and/or Money, and obviously we all have only so much of those to give, which is where the concept of a Fuck Budget comes in. And I'm totally on board with the concept of a Fuck Budget. In fact I'm old enough that I have already incorporated a Fuck Budget in quite a few aspects of my life without really realising it. 
Instead of feeling guilty, obligated, and anxious, wouldn't you rather feel empowered, benevolent, and carefree?

Sarah provides us with a handy flow chart to help decide whether you should give a fuck about a particular activity or request:

Yes, the path to enlightenment is paved with reclaimed hours, newfound verve, and cold hard cash. 

Sarah Knight has another two books out now- Get Your Sh*t Together, and You Do You. And yes that's another two books slapped on the TBR.

As an aside, I'd never heard the term Irish Goodbye before, but I know exactly what it is. And is it just me or has ghosting sprung up everywhere in the past few days?

1 comment:

Brona said...

I’ve just done a post all about the fucks with give (or not).
Mark Manson’s book about the Subtle Art of not Giving a Fuck could be a companion book 😊